Hannah's Gift, by Maria Housden

Maria Housden tells the story of the short but profound life of her daughter, Hannah, who dies at the age of three after battling cancer for about a year.  She tells of her daughter's sweet example of faith and the happiness that can come from the simple things in life.  Her daughter's brief but significant time on this earth touched the lives of so many and continued to touch lives after her death.  She talks of her grief and of coming to terms with it.  She talks about the struggles in her marriage, of her thoughts on ending her own life, of the affect it had on her son, her beliefs as a Christian and the questioning of those beliefs.  She talks of her struggles with miscarriages and her role as a mother and all the imperfections and insecurities that come with one of the most challenging paths a woman can take.  In the end, she's able to accept life for what it is, do what she can with what she has and knows, and realizes her potential as a person.

This book, along with the other book on losing a loved one I've read, was foreign to me.  I've only lost one grandparent my whole life.  I, too, have had a miscarriage, but my own religious beliefs were a great comfort to me during both of these losses.  Maria questions a lot of things that I feel I have the answers too.  I don't know how I'd react to my own child's death after watching her (or him) suffer for a year.  This little girl was amazing.  She's said to have only been barely three when she dies, yet she talks like she's much older.  She (I believe) must've had a strong connection with "the other side", as she knew she was going to die, but knew she was going to live with God and was actually excited about that.  Knowing what I know, I have to wonder if I would have the same struggles with grief as this woman did.  I would hope not, but then again, I'm only human.  (And Heaven forbid I should ever find out first hand!) I have to admit, though, I was really growing tired of hearing about her daughter and how she was reminded of her in everything and wanted her to be a part of her "new life".  I wanted to say, "Get over it already."  But, having never been through that, I know that my ignorance of the matter is what is fueling those words, so please don't be offended if you've suffered a loss and know what she's going through.  I don't and hope to never know. 

This book and the last book I read talked a lot of breaking out of one's shell, embracing the unknown - about the world and about oneself.  They both talk of daring to break free of the stereotype we, as women, are expected to fulfill.  I found this author from an article I read online about mothers who willingly turn custody of their children over to their ex's after a divorce.  Her next book I'm going to start today is about that journey.  I'm anxious to see her point of view on the matter, as I'm very old fashioned in that I strongly believe the mother should be at home with her kids as God intended it to be.  Though, I can't help but read these things and wonder, "What if...?".

I've been finding quotes in a few of these books that I like to make a note of, quotes that might as well be coming from me.  Here are some from this book:

"Truth is fierce and unrelenting.... When we are willing to do the best we can with what we know, to be honest with ourselves and others about who we are and what really matters to us, only then are the lives we live and the love we receive truly our own."

"There was a part of me, I realized, that was overly critical of everything, that wanted to teach people, especially my children, about the "right" way to do things."

"I longed to bring the same attention to the busy-ness in my every day, to do something simply for the joy of doing it, without worrying whether people noticed or liked it."

"If I was serious about living life more fully, I was going to have to let go of my need for everything, including myself and others, to be perfect."

"I also knew that I had to start living my life.... I no longer felt willing for life to continue on without me."

This was a very good book, a quick read, and something that I think those who have lost a loved one would love to relate to.

Girl in a Blue Dress, by Gaynor Arnold

I love writing book reviews but I find it particularly taxing when the book invoked so many feelings and thoughts that I can't seem to keep them all straight, let alone remember them.  I had to take notes as I was reading it! I apologize if my thoughts are scattered and confusing.

On the cover of this book, it says "A Novel Inspired by the Life & Marriage of Charles Dickens".  Before the story begins, there is a note by the author.  She says that this is a work of fiction, that she's added conversations, characters, places and events that she has added of her own accord.  This makes me wonder what was real about her story, how much of it was what she got from learning of Charles Dickens and his marriage.  If I were to go by the gist of this story, I'd say Charles Dickens is not a man I would like. 

The story is told by the main character, Mrs. Dorothy Gibson, estranged wife of the famous author Alfred Gibson.  It's the time of her husband's funeral and she has not been invited.  She goes back through her memories of being wooed and courted by this man, and how her parents were against them getting married but she does it anyway.  As the years go by, she bears one child after another, totalling eight, yet her husband's affections towards her become less and less.  She has fits of jealousy, understandably so, as her husband has always been drawn to and is flirtatious with the younger of her sex.  After she loses her last child to death, her husband sends her away to a spa in hopes of her regaining her health.  But when she returns, she finds she is not needed and finds her husband has moved out of their bedroom.  She believes he's having an affair with her sister, who's basically taken over as mistress of the house and he denies it and says he feels they should live apart because their marriage has failed.  So she moves out.  He blames her for this.  He publishes a notice in the paper stating that it's her fault, that she was an unfit mother and a bad wife.  She then learns gradually of a young actress he's shown particular interest in and puts the pieces together in her mind.  After 10 years of banishment, her husband dies.  The will is read and she receives less than this actress, even though technically she is still his wife.  She now learns that her children were told they could contact her, but would never be welcome in their father's home again if they did so, which is why she never heard from them over the 10 years.  She faces the mistress, who claims she was a victim of her husband's influence, which, after getting to know his character, one can easily believe.  She also claims there was never any physical relationship between them, but that they did love each other.  Dorothy meets the Queen and finds they have much in common.  She ventures out into the world after 10 years of seclusion and finds she has the will to live, to be herself, to rely on her own intelligence and abilities.

I do not do this book justice, there is simply too much to tell.  If you want to know the whole story, you must read it yourself.  I highly recommend it.  What I can tell you, are the feelings it brought to mind while reading it.  How unfair to be treated the way she was.  She finds in the end he never really loved her, that she was basically a rebound from his last failed relationship, yet he stuck with her to "do his duty".  She was made to look like she was not right in her mind because of the lies he told people, lies he came to believe were true in his own mind.  Even her children were more or less forced to stay away from her because of the things their father said.  She had to go 10 years alone, without contact of her friends, save one, and all of her children, all because of her husband, who always blamed her and said she was at fault.  She's stuck all this time in a marriage that she is the only one willing to fight for.  She sticks by him and always is made to feel like she's the one in err when she questions him about the young ladies he flirts with.  Everyone thinks he is so great, but in the end, after he dies, they all come forth to voice how they saw his faults, too, and that they felt bad for her and that he treated her wrongly.  I don't like how she's made to question her own part in this tragedy of a marriage, how she wonders if it really was her fault, if she really had gone mad, all because of how good this man was at twisting words.  I love how she faces the mistress.  I have to wonder, though, being in that situation, who would I be more angry with? The mistress? Or my loser husband? I'd say loser husband.  What I find really interesting, is how, even in the end, after going over everything he's done to her and how miserable she was, she never denies her love for him.  Wow.  The author says at the beginning that Charles Dickens wife wanted all of his letters to her kept to prove to the world that he really did love her once. 

If you want to read a story that makes you feel things and see things differently, or even help you realize things about yourself, as it has for me, I say read it.  It's a very good book.

My favorite quote, that sums up what I got out of it:  "Is it so singularly amusing for a woman to have ideas of her own? To wish to be a person as well as a mother?"  All too often I feel like that.  She was talking with the Queen in part of this book and it said something along the lines of a woman is basically stripped of herself when she becomes a wife and mother, that we live for the man and the children and not for ourselves.  I say we have to live for ourselves first, if we are to have anything to even offer those we love most.  How sad that this woman bore so much grief before her husband died, and only upon his death realized that she was capable of happiness without him.

This saddle sure is slippery

I think I've hit an all time record for myself in the slacking department as far as reading goes.  I've started the book I'm reading (on the right) and read it once in a while, but just don't sit and read like I've done in the past.  But I think I've overcoming this slump... I've gotten the itch again and will hopefully be scratching very soon.  I have a list of books from the library that I've checked out and even another on hold, so I best get reading, right? :)

Back in the saddle again...

I've started reading again... was in a funk for a while.  Well, a person does need to do other things...

Anyway, I've started this book... which, so far, is very interesting.  I attached the link so you could see what it's about.  I like how the main character goes back and forth between the present and her past memories that lead up to the events now taking place in her life.  I have to wonder how much of it is true to form as far as what really happened between Dickens and his wife... guess I'd have to learn more about Dickens to find out, huh?

It's been HOW long?

Yep.  Long.

Why?

Click here.

Might As Well Laugh About It Now, by Marie Osmond

Never did I ever think I'd read a book written by Marie Osmond.  It's not that I don't like her, I just never really knew much about her other than who she is.  I never thought I'd be interested in her life, but, then again, I never knew much about her life.  When I think of the name Osmond, I think of the classic Christmas album my dad would play for us every year and my sister and I doing our dance routine (cartwheels included) to "Sleigh Ride".  (Good times.)

My mother-in-law called me one day and told me I had to read this book.  So, I got it from the library and it sat on my shelf, patiently waiting it's turn.  This is a book I'll never regret reading.  I loved it! After reading it, I felt like I was able to sit down with Marie, herself, and have her tell me this story from her own mouth.  It's a compilation of her memories of life growing up as an entertainer, being the daughter of her wonderful parents, the sister to her awesome brothers, the mother to her amazing children, the wife of not one, but two different husbands.  She talks about her divorces, a house fire that devoured her memories and journals and things handed down to her from her mother when she passed away, issues with her weight and therefore her perception of herself, traveling, her career.  She shares lessons learned from other people, sharing moments of triumph and defeat with friends and family, and even laughs about fainting on national television.  She talks about her charity work, her doll collections and all the while keeping her faith and focus on what's most important.

I learned so much about her, about life, love, and happiness, about not sweating the small things, about determination, and about being human and accepting yourself.  She always remembered to laugh!

This book had me laughing, tearing up, sympathizing, and determining to see my life differently.  If you are a fan of Marie or just want an uplifting book to read and make you feel good, I recommend reading this one! 

Check it out HERE!

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne

I love Holocaust books, if you couldn't tell, but this is the first fiction one I read... and I have to say, I'm so glad it's fiction.

This book is from the point of view of a nine year old little boy who happens to be the son of a Nazi Commandant.  They move from their house and life in Berlin to live in a place he knows as "Out-with".  He's incredibly bored to begin with and can't understand the purpose of the large fenced area he can see outside his bedroom where all are men or boys and wearing the same striped pajamas.  It's so interesting to see, from what a child's point of view would be, the things that really did happen.  One day, he ends up walking along the fence and finds a boy who soon becomes his best friend.  Everyday they meet and talk but are always seperated by the fence.  They compare their lives and the things they like and don't like and soon find they actually have a lot in common when it comes to not liking where they live and things that go on in their lives.  Well, one day the german boy's mother decides she's had enough of the place and wants to go back home to Berlin.  So, as a final goodbye, they german boy dresses in some striped pajamas his friend acquired for him and crawls under the fence to have "an exploration" and some time to play with his friend whom he will greatly miss.  After over an hour of exploring, the german boy (who's name is Bruno, by the way) decides he better be getting back home.  At that moment, soldiers start rounding up hundreds of people in the area they're standing in and marching them.  Bruno doesn't like this but is trapped in the middle of this crowd.  They are then marched into a building where it is so crammed no one can hardly move.  He tells his friend (who's name is Shmuel) that he's his best friend for life, and holds his hand, not knowing what's about to happen next.  The story ends with one more chapter saying Bruno was never heard from again.

Having read many books on this subject before, it's sad to realize what happened to him, how he was marched into a gas chamber and, of course, the rest is history.  Bruno never knows what was going on in the camp, or that it was even a camp for prisoners.  He's envious of Shmuel because, from his point of view, he has lots of friends to play with, where he has none.  He sees and dislikes the soldiers that come in and out of his house.  He definitely doesn't like being in the camp once he's there, and even feels fear seeing the things he sees there.  He doesn't understand that "the Fury" who came to dinner and gave his father this important job at "Out-with" is Hitler, nor does he know why his mother doesn't like him or his grandmother, for that matter.  The innocence of a child is greatly portrayed in this touching story, and it opened my eyes to yet another point of view of this horrific time in history.

Reading this, I'd like to find a book from a Nazi's point of view, or even a german's point of view who went along with all of this to avoid death themselves. 

I can't tell you why I'm so fascinated with this, but I am just the same.  This book was definitely a good one, and, even though it's fiction, still gives an accurate account of what happened to so many people.  I love that it was from the view of a child, of innocence.  It was written well and reads quickly.  If you're interested in the Holocaust, this is definitely one I'd add to your mind's library.

For a different review and perspective, click the link above or here.

My, oh, my! Christmas in April!

April 6, that is!!!

Richard Paul Evans is releasing his newest book, The Walk, this April 6th and I am just giddy! Usually, we RPE fans have to wait till October, give or take... but not this year, baby! Woohoo!

Check it out, here.  You can even read the first chapter.  And what's even more exciting, is that's it's the first of a series.  That is just so fantastically awesome!

Ahem.  Now back to life.  ;)

You've probably noticed...

I sort of abandoned the idea of finishing The Worst Hard Time.... it was due back at the library, anyway. 

It wasn't that it wasn't good, it truly was, I just got to reading other books and the zest for what happened next just left me. 

If you didn't know, it's about the Great American Dust Bowl, something I didn't care to learn about in school when I had the opportunity.  This book is a great way to learn about it because not only does it give the facts, it gives real people's perspective on what happened and how it affected them.  What I did read was so very shocking.  The way people basically robbed the land of all it's goodness then wondered why the severe dust storms were happening just blows me away.  Some of the dust storms started in OK and KS and blew as far as New York and even out to ships 400 yards into the sea.  Amazing, really.  What also baffled my brain is how this country suffered.  What it all boiled down to was someone was too greedy to lower their prices until no one had money to spend and all suffered greatly.  I fear that's where this country is headed even now, but to those who are prepared, no worries, I guess.  I found it interesting that banks took people's savings money and invested it, losing it all, of course, in the stock market crash.  It really was the worst hard time for America... a time I see us heading into again, if things don't start changing for the better.  *sigh*

One thing's for sure, my family and I are going to get some food into storage, money in our own safe keeping, and stay close to the Lord.  I don't want to be unprepared, that's for sure.

It's a very fascinating book... I hope no one uses the fact that I didn't finish against it.  In fact, now that I'm typing this, I'm going to put it on my list to re-check out and finish, because it really was a good read.  It didn't read like a history book, as it was the story of those who survived the Great American Dust Bowl. 

My mom used to say that those who don't learn their history are doomed to repeat it... this book is something we all should learn from, in my opinion.

On to the next!

The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom

This book was nothing short of amazing.  I loved it so much, I'm going to obtain my very own copy - and I don't do that with just any book.  I'm a library girl unless the book is RPE or something worth reading more than once.  This is definitely one of those books. 

As a Christian myself, this book meant a lot to me.  I have read several Holocaust survivor books before, but none of them came close to this one.  Yes, they were sad and it's unimaginable that someone could be filled with such hate and do such horrific things to other humans and it's beyond incredible that someone could actually survive that, but this woman and her family, her sister, especially, gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "triumphing over evil".  The most recent survivor book I read, the man turned his back on God.  This woman's faith and the faith of her family is so awesome.  She managed to see the smallest and sometimes most ugly things as blessings.  I'd like to think I have the ability to see the good in the bad, but going through what this woman and so many others went through, I wonder if I would still be able to come out of it with as strong a spirit? This woman did, and so much more did she accomplish in her life, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all.

Corrie ten Boom's story takes place in Haarlam, Holland, where she and her family live and own/run a watch/clock repair shop.  As the germans start to take over parts of Europe, including her part, she finds herself becoming the hub of an underground operation aiding the flight and hiding of many Jews.  She and her family have a special love for God's "chosen people" and have no hesitation in doing this great and dangerous work.  After a while, they're found out and are arrested.  She goes from prison to prison, somehow never being seperated from her sister, and finally ends up in a concentration camp.  She experiences the direst of circumstances but meets and befriends many along the way while sharing the word of God.  The miracles she encounters and the prayers she's been answered can only strengthen one's testimony that God's hand truly is in all things.  Even when Corrie fails to see Divine intervention (which was rare), her sister never fails to remind her.  I loved how things weren't so much a matter of faith with them, but a matter of fact.  It truly is an inspirational book and will stick with you and perhaps even strengthen your own spirit while giving you a strong dose of perspective.

If you haven't read it, do.  It's worth it.  You'll not regret it, I promise.